my heart is so full of love

Back in January when my sister called me up and asked me to move here to Maryland, naturally I needed some time to mull it over before I made a concrete decision. Of course I weighed the pros and cons and I spent A LOT of time praying about it. When it became clear as day that moving to Maryland was the next step in my journey, my first thought was, "HOW AM I GONNA MAKE FRIENDS?!!!!" Now let me tell you this- I'm an awkward person; I'm loud (sometimes obnoxiously loud), but I'm 95% deaf in my left ear and that sort of makes it difficult for me to gauge my volume levels. I'm brutally honest, to the point where it can make people uncomfortable. I'm one of those people who lacks that brain-to-mouth filter thing- do they even exist? I say what comes to my mind and sometimes it can be a tad on the offensive side, and I rarely apologize for the things that come out of my mouth (unless I see that I deeply offended someone, then I'll apologize). Add all of these things together in one person and your end product is me- all five feet six inches of insanely awesome teetering on the edge of crazy. A person like me, with all of that going on, doesn't make friends very easily. Wait- scratch that. I do make friends but I'm scared to try because I don't know how people are going to take me in. They may smile to my face and laugh along with me, but then as soon as I walk away, are they mocking me? Are they laughing about me to their other friends? Are they making fun of me in any capacity? That is what goes through my head when I meet new people. It has caused an anxiety attack on more than one occasion.

On Saturday, ChiveMD had a mega meet up; a charity putt putt golf tournament at Power Plant Live! in Baltimore. Naturally, I made plans to be on a team with my other half Jessica and the third leg to the tripod, Michael. Then it sort of evolved into two teams forming, add in a couple people who needed a team, and one genius idea for everyone to wear tutus (because I was gonna be wearing one, so why wouldn't the rest of the team, duhhh....) and the end product just so happens to be what we now call the Tutu Mafia.

(Not pictured: Nicole. She showed up later)

(The guy photobombing us isn't a part of the mafia)

In one day, this group of people invaded my soul and etched themselves little places in my heart. I had met them all before and have adored them since the first time I met them- aside from Smoot (the tall guy in the red shirt and yellow tutu), whom I literally met on Saturday and instantly adored him. This group of people came together and instantly, friendships were formed, and an unbreakable bond was forged. I spent an entire day falling head over heels for these people and now all I want to do is hang out with them every single day for the rest of my life. They are the reason I will survive Maryland. They are the reason why I don't ever want to leave this place because after one day, I cannot imagine a life without them. They accepted me and all my crazy shenanigans and to be completely honest, they are just like me so we mesh well. 

I got home from the meet up and could not go to sleep for the life of me, because I was so high off of all the love I felt throughout the day because of these people. It's a high I never want to come down from. 

So to the Tutu Mafia- Smoot, Red, Kyle, Michael, Jessidoll, JMills, Nicole, and Megan- thank you for accepting me and loving me just the way that I am. I wish that everyday could be like Saturday. From here on out, it's ride or die. Tutu Mafia for life. I love you all to infinity and beyond. You make life worth living.